Mum of twin teens - nothing else scares me!

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Life in an Empty Nest

Collecting Sophia from the coach station on Thursday, (after visiting her sister) my youngest daughter was home for just a couple of days before heading back to university on Sunday.
I met a friend for coffee whilst collecting my daughter. She is genuinely lovely and has a young daughter of her own. I couldn't help but think - make the most of her, for one day she will leave home too and you will miss her more than you ever imagined.


The Christmas holidays have been nothing if not strange. It appears that we have forgotten how to live together as a family and that my daughters now consider university 'home.' I suspect that secretly they have enjoyed many aspects of staying at their former residential address, complete with 'staff,' a 24-hour bar, access to a fully stocked refrigerator and laundry services on demand. But they have been counting down the days until it was time to return.


We headed off early on Sunday morning knowing that despite all of our best intentions, she would return only to discover that something (s) had been left behind. This time around it was mostly socks, her laundry bag, a sketchbook, plus an entire batch of rocky road that she insisted I made (I so don't need the calories).


Once at her halls of residence we unloaded, unpacked, replenished empty cupboards, set up her new printer, extracted hugs and were told that we were allowed to visit approximately half way through the term. We headed for home feeling completely bereft and were relieved that at least the cat was pleased to see us. Personally, I think that my generation feels the loss of their offspring more acutely, I have been a mother with bells on and in the 70's parenting was so much more laid back.


Naturally there are discarded belongings to sift through - mostly laundry. But now I'm thinking what's next and contemplating getting another job to fill the void. Having spent years thinking only...

What the hell? You're kidding and, I just need to get through this - it's obvious I enjoyed motherhood much more than I thought.


Still, onwards and upwards - the house is a tip, there are numerous repairs that still require urgent attention and I'm hoping that some day soon I'll fathom out what it means to be me, rather than just a mum!


I want only for my daughters to have the lives they always dreamt about and to be happy.






Copyright © 2014 Izzie Anderton










10 comments :

  1. As both of mine are still young enough for me to have the What the hell moments all too often, I can't really say anything profound here, just that I guess it's another stage of parenthood the empty nest, and that finding out who you are in the midst of it is really hard, and before you know it it will be April and another holiday :)
    Just wanted to send a hug your way :)

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    1. Thanks lovely, make the most of your sons for as long as possible x

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  2. Forgotten how to live together - you are so correct there. We go through the same thing every time the two away at university come home. Middle child has her own apartment well at school, so living with her is even more difficult. She no longer likes the way we eat, though says my cooking is good, but we have to buy 'special food' for her. Geez

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    1. Sounds like a complete nightmare!! Mine have 2 choices....take it or leave it!

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  3. Oh I feel your pain Izzie - clinging on to mine for dear life and they're at least ten years away from leaving! I know there are books out there to help with 'Empty Nest Syndrome' which I reckon will be a really good laugh if you can find the right one - but you could, of course, write your own! I wish you to have the life you always wanted and to be happy too!

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    1. Enjoy them for as long as possible. I think it's important to keep busy but sometimes even that isn't enough!

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  4. It truly is so hard when they grow up. I feel like even though I have two very young children still it's going too fast. I don't want to blink because I feel that they will be grown up and leave home. Where there future may take them could be anywhere and very far away. I am an American living in the UK so I know all too well that my kids could end up living in the states far away from me like I did to my momma. Only now having my own kids I can't imagine how she feels having her daughter so far away. Definitely empty nest. I am so scared of that. I can foresee me having more kids at a later age just to fill this! lol But they soon will get sick of university and be adults and oh the adventures you can go on when you all are adults. My mom and I go on grand adventures every two years just the two of us. It's amazing. Look forward to those times. Kids will be kids and friends will be there world for only a short while. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. I love your post and your blog. Stay busy and lots of hugs! Real in the fact that you raised them so well that they are independent! #sharewithme

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  5. I suspect by the time my youngest leaves home I really won't know what to do with myself! I'll be in my mid 50's (ish) and I think I'll just need a rest :) I am however making the most of every minute because I know it goes by far too quickly x #ShareWithMe

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  6. Well thank you for reminding me to quit moaning and to enjoy the time I have with my children. They drive me to distraction most days but I know for a fact that I will feel exactly like you - the lack of taxi service demands, washing needing to be done and meals to be made will seem very odd. And it's only about 5 years away! This must be tough for you. Have you decided about jobs? x

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  7. I can't believe my daughters have grown up so quickly, but I am reminded of how tough it is to be a mum every time they come home for the holidays. The jury's out on getting a job - I suspect that if the right opportunity came up I'd take it.

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